Ichigo's Soul Reaper Harem
by Yusei-pal473
Summary: This is my first collection of IchiHarem one-shots. I hope you enjoyed them individually.
1. Truck Trouble

"Talking"

_'Thinking'_

_"Urahara Shoten"_

**Truck Trouble**

To say that Ichigo Kurosaki was having a bad day was an understatement, but there was no other way to put it. To start things off, his dad, Isshin just bought a used '04 Nissan Frontier pickup truck a couple of months ago in order to haul items that would be too big to fit in the car and it started having problems recently. To add insult to injury, Isshin didn't know the first damned thing about repairing a vehicle and he refuses to take it to a mechanic who knows what in the world they're doing. So he decides to get poor Ichigo to do it since he knows more about it than his old man. The one thing Isshin didn't take into account: how much more.

Ichigo got his knowledge of trucks and cars from helping Keigo work on his new car and also from the internet. With Keigo, there isn't much help there, and the internet isn't exactly fully reliable. He knows this now and he even tried to talk his dad to take it to a mechanic, but he was too stubborn. _'Man can dad be any more of a pain in the ass?'_ thought Ichigo as he tries to study the engine. After five minutes of studying the engine he discovers one of the issues with the truck was the radiator that needed to be replaced. After taking out the radiator, he drained the oil out of the engine **(A/N: because anyone knows that after the repair, the oil will have to be replaced anyways.)** and got to work on disconnecting the intake valve, knowing he would have to get to the exhaust.

By the time he got halfway through disconnecting the valves, Captains Soifon of Squad 2 and Toshiro Hitsugaya of Squad 10 arrive with their Lieutenants. Ichigo knew they were there, but was too busy at the moment to look up from his work, so he just spoke to them. "Soifon. Toshiro. Anything new?"

"HEY! You didn't acknowledge ME!" Omaeda complained.

"Sorry, fatso."

"WATCH IT, DANDELION HEAD!"

"QUIET, OMAEDA!"

"Yes, Captain Soifon."

"We're looking for a Menos class hollow that could be in the area and we were wondering if you would be able to help us. AND IT'S CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA!"

"Yeah, whatever. As for the request, no can do. My dad has prevented me from doing any Soul Reaper activities until I get this damned truck of his fixed. Sorry," explained Ichigo. The more he focused on the truck, the more he wished he could kick Isshin's butt to New York City and back again. This very thought was what was keeping him from going insane.

"HA! Sucks to be you, Kurosaki! Too bad you're not a noble like me!" mocked Omaeda.

'_If only he knew the truth about Ichigo Kurosaki,'_ Toshiro and Soifon thought simultaneously. Rangiku decided to speak up.

"Let us know if you need anything, Ichigo"

"Thanks, Rangiku. Oh, and Toshiro, before I forget: If you're looking for Karin, she's at the soccer fields."

"Thanks, Ichigo. AND IT'S—"

"Yeah, yeah, 'it's Captain Hitsugaya'. If you want to take my sister on a date then you'll have to talk to me and my dad first."

"Gotcha," after that the Soul Reapers left… except for one.

"Don't you have a Menos Grande to take down, Soifon?"

"Lady Yoruichi knew about the predicament you're in right now, so she personally asked for me to come along. She would help you, given that she has knowledge on these machines and the tools used to repair them. She even taught me how to fix a truck engine like this. Unfortunately, she's a little busy at the moment, so she asked me to come along just for this. And don't worry, Ichigo. After we're done with this and the Hollow, I'll help you kick Isshin's ass all the way to Beijing if you want. We'll even do Omaeda," Soifon said with a smirk. Ichigo responded in kind.

"Thank god for someone with some common sense. I really appreciate the help. And I like the idea of kicking our idiots' asses, except I had somewhere else in mind."

Soifon grinned at this. "Oh, yeah? Where?"

"New York City," This caused Soifon's grin to grow as wide as a Cheshire cat. She couldn't wait to finish the truck.

Speaking of which, they turned their attention back to the said machinery. During the chat with Toshiro and the others, Ichigo managed to get the intake valve detached from the engine with quite a bit of difficulty. He and Soifon managed to take out some of the screws holding the engine itself together, and then the engine itself. Ichigo then got to work on fixing up the exhaust valve. Once he got finished with that, they reattached the engine itself, managing, to both of their surprises, to keep it in one piece. They reattached the intake valve, wires and all. Now all that was left to do was get a new radiator.

They completed the whole process (including what Ichigo has done by himself) in a matter of hours. Come sunset, Isshin checked on the progress. He knew the Soul Reapers paid Ichigo a visit, but he didn't know that Soifon stayed with him to help out. Liking what he saw, he was happy with the progress the two made until he saw the radiator.

"Ichigo, can either of you tell me why _that_ isn't back in the truck yet? I told you that I needed the truck to be fixed all the way BEFORE I came out here," he asked, obviously dense on the condition of the radiator.

"If you must know, Dad, I have to get a new radiator from NAPA and that is going to take a bit of time. There's also a Menos Grande that Toshiro and two others are trying to take down at the moment. We have the truck done, besides that," replied Ichigo.

"Don't worry, Isshin. We'll have it fixed up by tomorrow evening. And we have a surprise for you and my Lieutenant once we're done with the Hollow," said Soifon with a smirk.

"Just make sure you do," said Isshin. With that, he went back in the house with only one thought: _'Since when does Soifon like being around Ichigo?'_

"Alright, let's kill this Hollow, get some sleep, get the radiator, finish the truck, and kick our idiot's asses to NYC," said Ichigo.

"Deal"

It didn't take them long to find the Menos Grande, given its size and Spiritual Pressure. They took the time to look around and saw only Toshiro unconscious. Rangiku was beaten up a bit, and Omaeda was cowering behind a bush. Then they heard a familiar yell.

"GETSUGA TENSHO!"

As soon as Ichigo's Getsuga made contact with the Menos' mask, it disintegrated. Rangiku was the first to speak.

"It's about time, Ichigo," she said before fainting.

"Sorry we're late," replied Ichigo before picking her up.

"You know that Yoruichi and Rukia would get jealous of Rangiku at this moment," said Soifon as she picked up Toshiro. _'And so would I.'_

They dropped them off at the _"Urahara Shoten"_ (Omaeda included) before heading over to NAPA. After they picked up the radiator, they walked backed to the house. Soifon decided immediately that she would stay with Ichigo for the night as they were having more fun together than they thought (for once, he agreed), and her hero worship for Yoruichi Shihoin could not overcome her obvious dislike for Kisuke Urahara.

During their walk home, Ichigo decided to ask the question that was burning in the back of his mind: "Hey, Soifon. You said earlier that Rukia and Yoruichi would get jealous if they saw me carrying Rangiku bridal-style. What did you mean by that?"

"I guess you didn't pick up on that. Recently, I've picked up signs of romantic affection coming from all three of them, Rangiku included. If she found out that you were the one who brought her to Urahara's shop, then she'll be out to smother you in you-know-what." This statement caused Ichigo's face to go beet-red. "Thanks for asking, Ichigo, because I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"Well, I've sort have developed a crush on you myself. Since you pulled of the Final Getsuga Tensho and lost your powers, I've found myself missing you as much as Rukia has. When you got them back and killed Ginjo, I was overjoyed," Ichigo was listening intently, knowing where this was going. "I guess it's more than a crush. I might be in love with you."

Even if he knew it from what he just heard, it still shocked him to hear it from Soifon of all people. "Well then, I guess it's time to tell you something. This isn't even a 'might be.' It's a true confession. When I first saw you, I thought of you the same way you thought of me," he stated, causing Soifon to blush in embarrassment, knowing full well what she thought of him at first. "But as time went on and I discovered that you were Yoruichi's student, there was no way I could avoid you. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm in love with you as well." After that they kissed in the crescent moon for a while.

"What about the others?" asked Soifon after they broke the kiss.

"So long as Rangiku and Omaeda don't find out, we'll be able to keep it a secret from the Soul Society. Speaking of which, what about Rukia, Rangiku, and Yoruichi?"

"I don't mind sharing you to them. Anyone else is out of the question. And I'll tell Rukia that she can keep the closet."

"Thanks, Soifon."

The next day, Ichigo and Soifon woke up bright and early for two reasons: 1) they wanted to get the new radiator put in; and 2) Ichigo wanted to avoid Isshin's traditional wake-up call. Once they got the radiator installed, they called over Isshin and Omaeda, dubbed 'The Idiots', and proceeded to kick their asses to New York City and back to Karakura Town.

The End

**Hope you guys like it. It's my first fanfic. For anyone who wants to know, I'm postponing the 'Whose Line" parody as I did not get any ideas for a fourth 'performer', nor did I get any ideas for 'Scenes From a Hat'.**


	2. Ichigo's Hideout

"Talking"

"_Radio Speech/Song"_

'_Thinking'_

"**Shop Name****"**

**Ichigo's Hideout**

If there are two things Ichigo knows how to do, they are showing a girl a good time, and hiding from the psychotic Squad 11 Captain Kenpachi Zaraki. Times like these makes him glad that he is not doing the latter, but wishes he could do the former right now. Ever since he and Soifon got together after fixing Isshin's truck, they have been going out on the town together for 2 weeks. The trip to New York City was quite a lot of fun for the 2 of them and the fact that they were kicking their respective idiot's asses (Soifon: Omaeda; Ichigo: Isshin) didn't hurt things, either.

Right now, Ichigo was hanging out at an old garage that he was trying to find a way to fix up. Even after proving that he could beat his old man in a global trip (in Soul Reaper form, no less), Ichigo still couldn't fathom why Isshin wants to prove himself the better man. After taking out a Hollow that was roaming through Karakura Town, Ichigo got home in time for lunch. Being stressed, Ichigo figured that Isshin would get on his last nerve… which is exactly what happened. They proceeded in the usual 'Kurosaki male bonding' **(A/N: For those of you who don't know, the 'bonding time' means that Ichigo and Isshin get into a fight when Ichigo least expects it)**, much to Yuzu's chagrin. "That's it! I'm outta here!" Ichigo exclaimed while heading towards the door.

"But you just got home, Ichigo! Where are you going?" asked Yuzu.

"Out!"

With that, he slammed the door.

"NICE GOING, DAD!" exclaimed the twins.

"What did I do?"

And that is why Ichigo is at the old garage. He figured he would make it his new hideout. Best place to be for two reasons: 1) Ever since he got Zangetsu's true Shikai, he has been able to contain his Spiritual Pressure a LOT easier, making it harder for Isshin to find him; and 2) Kenpachi rarely ever comes to the World of the Living, if at all. The only downside: How will someone he actually wants to come over find him? Not a problem for a certain black cat. Yoruichi decided to stop by to check up on him. Sadly, Ichigo was busy fixing up the place to his satisfaction to pay her any mind.

"Nice place you got here, Ichigo," she exclaimed, surprising him.

"Yoruichi, you scared me!"

"Hehe, sorry about that. I came by to see what you were doing. I heard you got pissed with Isshin"

'_How did she—Oh wait!'_ thought Ichigo. "Let me guess: you felt it through our Spiritual Pressures, didn't you?"

"That and I've been keeping an eye on you. I've noticed you and Soifon have been spending a lot of time together, from sparring to hanging out casually. When did this happen?"

"Are you wearing a wire?"

"Do you want to strip-search me?" she asked, causing Ichigo to go beet-red. "Haha! Just kidding, Ichigo! No, I'm not wearing a wire. But in all seriousness, when did it happen?"

'_Damn, she's good. Guess there's no point in hiding it,'_ he thought. "Okay, here goes. Soifon and I have been hanging out together since she helped me fix Dad's truck. Thanks for teaching her, by the way. I'm grateful for that. Anyway, ever since then, she and I have done every fun thing possible, ranging from the amusement park to kicking Dad and Omaeda's asses to New York City. Just by fixing the truck, she and I may have bonded as more than friends."

"Oh, I see. You and Soifon are in a relationship, aren't you?"

"Yeah. And you'll like the catch. She said that if you want, she could share me with you, Rukia, and Rangiku."

"Is that so? I can't say I'm surprised since this came from Soifon. Although, it does surprise me that she included Rukia and Rangiku in the mix. She isn't too fond of them, especially Rangiku."

"She also said that Rukia can keep the closet. Hey, can you help me with the sign?" Ichigo asked as he was taking down a neon "PEPSI" sign. It was one of those that had an analog clock build in as well as a board to place letters on.

"Yeah, sure. Hey you could open up your own joint here," Yoruichi said.

"I'm just looking for a place to get away from my dad, Kisuke, and any Soul Reapers that might show up at the wrong time," he explained, but then saw the look in Yoruichi's eyes. "Not that I don't mind you, Soifon, Rukia, or Rangiku coming here!" he quickly added.

"Aww, thanks, Ichi."

''_Ichi'? What's her game?'_ he thought.

"All we're missing is a radio"

"Way ahead of you, Yoruichi."

_Chorus:_

"_Baby, lock the door and turn the lights down low,_

_Put some music on that's soft and slow"_

"Oh I love this song! Let's dance!" Yoruichi exclaimed as she grabbed Ichigo's arm.

"_Baby we ain't got no place to go,_

_I hope you understand._

_I've been thinking 'bout this all day long,_

_Never felt a feeling that was quite as strong,_

_I can't believe how much it turns me on,_

_Just to be Your Man."_

As the song plays, Ichigo is twirling Yoruichi around, who was initially shocked that he could dance but then remembered that he was the best dancer among the guys at his school, due in no small part to his Martial Arts training with both Tatsuki and Soifon.

"_There's no hurry, don't you worry,_

_We can take our time,_

_Come a little closer, let's go over,_

_What I had in mind."_

_Chorus:_

"_And maybe lock the door and turn the lights down low,_

_Put some music on that's soft and slow,_

_Baby we ain't got no place to go,_

_I hope you understand._

_I've been thinking 'bout this all day long,_

_Never felt a feeling that was quite as strong,_

_I can't believe how much it turns me on,_

_Just to be Your Man."_

As the song played, they both had the same thought on their mind: _'If nothing good comes out of this, then it will be for nothing. I wonder how he/she feels about me.'_

"_Ain't nobody ever loved nobody,_

_The way that I love you,_

_We're alone now, you don't know how_

_Long I've wanted to,"_

_Chorus:_

"_Lock the door and turn the lights down low,_

_Put some music on that's soft and slow,_

_Baby we ain't got no place to go,_

_I hope you understand,_

_I've been thinking 'bout this all day long,_

_Never felt a feeling that was quite as strong,_

_I can't believe how much it turns me on,_

_Just to be Your Man._

_I can't believe how much it turns me on,_

_Just to be Your Man."_

As the song finished, Ichigo and Yoruichi leaned in and sealed the deal with a kiss, too caught up in the moment to notice Soifon standing in the doorway with a smile on her face. They only noticed her once they broke apart. Ichigo was the first to speak.

"Hey, Honeybee."

"Hi, Dear." With that, they greeted each other with a kiss. "I take it you told her?" She asked.

"Yep. She knows and she agreed," he said as he looked over his shoulder at a smiling Yoruichi. "Oh and by the way, welcome to our new hideout. I call it **"The Black Crescent."**

"Nice."

The End.

**I hope you like it. I do not own "Bleach". It belongs to Tite Kubo.**

**I don't own the song, "Your Man". That Belongs to Josh Turner.**


	3. Stress & Worries

**I've decided to post this because it's been on my mind for a few days now. For the IchiRuki fans out there, this might not be the best story you've read, but I guarantee you it is not the worst. As I said in my profile, I may use a **_**Family Guy**_**-style cutaway, in which case, I will put up a disclaimer.**

**Disclaimer 1: I do not own **_**Bleach**_**. Tite Kubo owns it.**

**Disclaimer 2: I do not own the cutaway gag. Seth MacFarlane owns it.**

**Now, on with the story.**

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

"_Name of place__" _(Excluding the Squad Barracks)

**Stress & Worries**

Rukia Kuchiki has concluded that she is a workaholic. She has her duties as a Kuchiki, as well as her duties as the Lieutenant of Squad 13, neither of which have been easier after the 1000-Year Blood War. Good thing her favorite Substitute Soul Reaper, Ichigo Kurosaki, managed to knock out their traitorous friend, Uryu Ishida and kill the Quincy leader, Yhwach. Workload-wise, that didn't help the poor Kuchiki girl much. Byakuya, who is the head of the Kuchiki clan and Squad 6 Captain, was still recovering from the injuries he had suffered during the war. These left him bedridden for a while, causing one of his worst nightmares to come true: Renji Abarai, his Lieutenant and Rukia's childhood friend, looking after Squad 6. Because Byakuya was injured, looking after Renji was one of Rukia's duties as a Kuchiki. Byakuya knew Rukia was more than capable of doing this job as she saw Renji as a good friend rather than a suitor, something both Rukia and her brother both saw Ichigo as. Yes, Byakuya has finally accepted Ichigo and Rukia's relationship as 'beyond friends'. Ichigo, however, has yet to know this.

Rukia was doing a lot of paperwork for her Captain, Jushiro Ukitake, when she heard the Co-3rd seats, Kiyone and Sentaro, arguing as usual. "DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT IF CAPTAIN UKITAKE PICKED YOU AS THE NEXT IN LINE, THEN THE SQUAD WOULD BE UP TO HIS STANDARD, SENTARO!?"

"IT WOULD BE BETTER IF HE PICKED ME ON ACCOUNT OF MY STRICT DISCIPLINE, OF WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE!"

This constant arguing was making Rukia's headache even worse. "WILL YOU TWO IDIOTS STOP THIS CEASELESS, TRIVIAL ARGUING!? SOME OF US HAVE SOME WORK TO GET DONE!" She exclaimed, making it obvious to the 3rd seats that she was stressed out. "Good grief, you guys are worse than Renji when he tries to raid someone's refrigerator!"

(Cutaway)

We see Renji trying to sneak into Ichigo's kitchen for some food when Isshin tackles him and puts him in a headlock. Ichigo and Rukia are standing in the doorway observing with a smirk on their faces.

"Meet Isshin Kurosaki, the 'Human Booby-trap'!" Ichigo said while he and Rukia are laughing.

(End Cutaway)

"Rukia, can you come in my office please?" asked Captain Ukitake.

"Yes, Captain?"

"I understand that you are under a lot of stress."

"With all due respect, sir, I know what you are trying to say. I'm perfectly fine." That was a crock of crap and they both knew it.

"Rukia, I've been talking to your brother and we thought it would be a good idea for you to go on a vacation to the World of the Living for about two weeks. Who knows? Being around Ichigo again might do you wonders."

"Thank you, Captain, but who will look after Renji."

"I will."

"And the paperwork?"

"The 3rd Seats will take care of that."

"Why do I have a bad feeling about that?"

And so, Rukia packed a few of her favorite items, Chappy the Rabbit sketchbook and pen obviously included. She made her way to the Senkaimon and said goodbye to her friends and family. Once she got through and got her gigai from the "_Urahara Shoten_" she was on her way to the Kurosaki Clinic. That's when she noticed an abandoned garage with someone inside of it. She looked on the glass door, which had been redesigned with the name "_Black Crescent_". Rukia's curiosity got the better of her, so she went inside, knowing Ichigo was here and he was using this place as a hideout.

"Hey, Rukia. Long time, no see," stated Ichigo, who sensed her presence through the bond they share.

"Yes it has. Nice setup you have here."

"Thanks. Yoruichi, Soifon, and I have been working on it for a while now. Just the other day, Yoruichi managed to get these rugs for 80% off."

"How did she manage to do that?"

"You don't want to know." Ichigo was more right than Rukia cared to know.

(Cutaway)

We see Yoruichi and Ichigo at a home store talking to a cashier. There is also a hot girl looking at the rugs. "If you can actually manage to hook me up with her, I'll give you 75% off," said the cashier while looking at the girl.

"Aw, that's still too much. Oh well, I guess you won't mind missing this," said Yoruichi, as she starts shedding off her clothes.

"OK, OK! 80% off. We're in a public place. Don't do that in public!"

"Thanks."

(End Cutaway)

"Well whatever happened, at least you have the furniture. It is definitely a nice place to hang out in."

"Cozy was what I was going for, but that works too."

They sat and talked about what was going on while Ichigo was getting the truck fixed and the hideout set up. This ranged from Rukia's stress in dealing with Renji to her headaches as a Lieutenant. Even Ichigo's relationships with Soifon and Yoruichi were brought up. This got Rukia to the point where she had to pry some information out of Ichigo.

"Ichigo, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Are you in love with either Captain Soifon or Yoruichi?" This caused Ichigo to go into deep thought.

"I'll be honest, Rukia. I am. And they've accepted it without any hesitation. Soifon was the one who started this ordeal. Before Yoruichi entered the relationship, Soifon told me that she would share me with you and Yoruichi, in addition to Rangiku if she found out." This statement caused a smile to form on Rukia's face as Ichigo told her this. She had no idea that the Squad 2 Captain had a soft side for anyone except for Yoruichi.

"I'm glad she said that, Ichigo, because you've become one of the greatest people I have ever met."

"Let me guess: the others are Renji, Byakuya, and my cousin Kaien Shiba, right?"

"Yeah, but they're like brothers to me, Byakuya putting that in the literal sense. You're a whole other kind of important. I've sort of fallen for you since you saved me from Aizen… okay, not 'sort of', but have."

"You know, Yoruichi was never good at verbal confessions, so you matched Soifon's. On a scale of 1-10, I gave both of yours' a 9." Ichigo joked. "But in all seriousness, Rukia, I've fallen for you when I was still new to Hollow hunting. You changed my life, Rukia Kuchiki, and with all of my heart, I'm forever grateful."

At that moment, they embraced in a passionate kiss that felt like eternity. When they pulled back, they noticed Soifon and Yoruichi standing in the door way.

"Ha! Told you, Lady Yoruichi. Pay up," stated Soifon, happy that she finally beat the dark-skinned goddess at something.

"Damn it!" exclaimed Yoruichi.

"What was the bet?"

"Well, Ichigo dear…" Soifon began as Ichigo greeted the two with a kiss for each of them "… Lady Yoruichi and I got the memo that Rukia was coming to the Living World, so we made a bet that Rukia would be kissing you at the hideout. You can tell who won and who was pissed that she lost."

Everyone laughed except for Yoruichi.

The End

**Hope you guys enjoyed it. As promised, there were a couple of cutaway gags. Also I changed the name of the hideout from "****Black Cat****" to "****Black Crescent****" because Ichigo is the central character in these One-Shots and I thought it would suit him better.**


	4. Rangiku Finds Out

**The Grand Finale to my IchiHarem series is finally here! This last one focuses on Ichigo and Rangiku, so you know there's going to be a sex joke involved. Who knows, I might just put these fanfics into a one-shot collaboration with a bonus chapter at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Tite Kubo does.**

**Rangiku Finds Out**

Rangiku Matsumoto may come off as a clumsy, sake-drinking, party-loving, paperwork-despising slacker, but everyone knows that she can at least run a newspaper at full efficiency. Once she catches a good word from around the Sereitei, one can bet their Zanpakuto that it will be in tomorrow's paper. How she missed the biggest story of the season was beyond her. She had no idea that the Substitute Soul Reaper Ichigo Kurosaki was dating Captain Soifon of Squad 2, Yoruichi Shihoin, and Squad 13 Lieutenant and his long-time friend Rukia Kuchiki at the same time with none of the girls having a care in the world. The kid was the object of every girl's dream (including her) and the envy of every man in both the Living World and the Sereitei. Rangiku believed that if she could blackmail Ichigo into letting her into his group of girlfriends, then she wouldn't print the whole thing on paper. Little did she know that the blackmail would be pointless.

Meanwhile, Ichigo had just graduated High School. The Colleges, however, would not take him despite his good grades. This is because the Colleges and Universities have heard of him being a Soul Reaper on account of one globally known reporter spotting him and decided that being a Soul Reaper was a good career for him. The only one that accepted him was Karakura Community College, the condition being that he takes online classes only. The bad news: he had to share a class with Uryu, who, due to the events of the 1000-Year Blood War, got reduced to being completely shunned by his friends, even Orihime Inoue. Ichigo and Rukia were the only ones who would talk to him, even if it was just a small greeting. The good news: at least he could work without him knowing where the _**"Black Crescent"**_ is.

"Oh man, it's good to be home," said Ichigo. After graduating from High School, he decided to use his savings from his Basketball, Soccer, and delivery jobs to move out of his house and into his hideout, using it as his living quarters while making sure his guests and girlfriends are comfortable, not that he would want his dad or Kenpachi Zaraki around as guests.

"Boy, you said it, Ichigo," Ichigo turned around to see Rangiku sitting in one of the chairs he and Soifon bought.

"Hey, Rangiku. I haven't seen you since Soifon and I worked on my dad's truck," said Ichigo with a smirk.

"That was what, a month ago? I heard you started a relationship with Captain Soifon at that time, and eventually Yoruichi and Rukia as well. You seem to be quite a ladies' man apparently."

"Now what makes you say that?"

Just then, Yoruichi comes in follow by Rukia and Soifon. Once they saw Rangiku, they had one thought on their minds: _'Oh crap! We're screwed unless Ichigo thinks of something!'_

"Want me to get you a Pepsi? They're on the house and ice cold."

"Thanks, but I think I'll pass."

"Your loss, Ran."

'_Did he just call me 'Ran'?'_ Rangiku thought. Ichigo and Yoruichi each got a Pepsi while Soifon and Rukia made themselves some tea.

"So, Rangiku," said Yoruichi. "What brings you here, hmm?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just passing by and figured I'd drop in and give Ichigo his daily peep show." Once again, Ichigo's face went red at that comment, which also earned glares from Soifon and Rukia.

"I believe that that is our job, right, Lady Yoruichi?" said Soifon.

"Took the words right out of my mouth, Soifon."

"Okay, you got me. I was going to tell you that I found out about this little harem you have going on, Ichigo," said Rangiku.

"And your point is?"

"If you don't let me in on it, I'm going to put it on the front page of tomorrow's paper along with this hideout of yours."

Ichigo and Soifon exchanged smirks before he gave his answer. "No problem."

"R-really? Just like that?" Ichigo just nodded. Rukia yanked him down by the back of his shirt.

"Ichigo, you can't be serious. She will use you as an excuse to blow off work," she whispered. Unfortunately, Rangiku heard what she said.

"Rukia, sweetie, you're forgetting one thing: I blow off paperwork all the time."

"Two reasons I accepted you, Rangiku: 1) All of the damned Sereitei knows already, thanks to Renji telling Shuuhei; and 2) we would've accepted you anyways," stated Ichigo.

"Huh?"

"Yeah. Ichigo and my Little Bee decided to have all of me, you, and Rukia in their relationship, although, Rukia is the most cautious about it," Yoruichi stated. "Of course, you can't really blame her. After all, even though the two fight a lot, she has had a crush on him for a while. She just didn't act on it until he mentioned it to her."

"What about anyone else? I mean Orihime has had a crush on you as well, Ichigo. Plus, she won't go on a date with Uryu after what happened. "

"The other Soul Reaper women are nice and all, even Nemu and the Kotetsu sisters, but they are off limits. Plus, Isane's still grieving over Captain Unohana's death **(A/N: Courtesy of Kenpachi)**, so it wouldn't be right," he explained. This caused Rangiku to admire him more, mainly because he cares so much about someone's emotional health, even though he looks like a tough guy. "But don't worry, Ran. I'm sure we can find some room for Orihime and Tatsuki."

"I hate to ask this, Ichigo, but what about that Fullbringer girl Riruka? Isn't she technically human?" asked Rukia.

"I haven't heard from her since Byakuya killed Tsukishima and I killed Ginjo. I'll have to look for her I guess."

"I guarantee you that she misses you, Carrot-Top," said Rukia in a teasing manner, which, of course, irked Ichigo.

"Well you two ought to keep each other company, because you like that damned crappy Chappy the Rabbit! And would you please quit calling me 'Carrot-Top'?! We're not in Las Vegas, you know!"

"Just kidding, Ichigo. But… *WHAM!* you know not to insult Chappy the Rabbit!"

"I'm sorry, Rukia. I just couldn't resist."

"You see what I mean, Ran. Even if this is a harem, those two act like the stereotypical married couple," stated Yoruichi.

"Yep. So this isn't going in the paper tomorrow, then?"

"Nope."

"I'll ask Orihime and Tatsuki what they think about this. And I'll try to get in contact with Riruka as well," said Ichigo.

"Sounds like a plan, Ichigo. And Rangiku, welcome to the harem," said Soifon.

The End

**Took me long enough! Just so you know, I got the idea to add the human girls like Orihime from a guest who posted a review on my "Truck Trouble" fanfic, so consider it a preview of a spin-off series.**

**Thanks, and as usual, I hope you enjoyed it.**


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